Best Practices For A Happier Marriage

Marriage is not automatic. It takes a lot of hard work—by both partners—to make a marriage successful. There will be highs and lows along the journey.

There is no one-size-fits-all secret formula for a perfect relationship. However, there are certain habits you can develop and practice to maintain a healthy married life. Read on to know the most important practices to help you ace your goals!

Listen

Listening is the real key to a happy marriage. Listening and hearing are not the same things. When we listen, we are giving our full attention, engaging in active thought and consideration of the other person, even if we disagree with them. We are showing them that they matter and that what they have to say is important, too.

Listening with your heart is definitely a skill worth practicing! It’s important to remember that your partner might not have the same opinion as you, but they are still trying their best to be heard and understood.

When your partner speaks, look at her or him; then briefly summarize what was said. That creates a sense of clarity as well as making your partner feel validated and more satisfied.

Communicate

Couples have different styles of communication, and these can be connected to their satisfaction with the marriage.

Figure out what makes your partner feel most loved so you will be able to better communicate with them. Love languages are often talked about, but couples don’t pay as much attention to this as they should.

For example, partner A might be most comfortable receiving physical affection, while partner B responds better to words of affirmation. If you find out what makes your partner feel most loved, you can then try using variations of that style to express yourself to your partner. It could be something as simple as saying “I love the way you smell” or “I love hearing your voice on the phone.” Find out their needs and cater to them accordingly!

Take Responsibility

When it comes to a relationship, each person needs to be both ready and willing to admit their share of responsibility for problems. A willingness to accept responsibility (when due) is an important attribute of personality that can have a direct effect on the quality of a marriage.

Taking responsibility for your actions (rather than blaming others) can help motivate the other person to become more vulnerable. They will be more likely to share without reservation, leading to more honest conversations.

In addition, many people do or say things during an argument that cause pain to their spouse. Admitting responsibility and apologizing for one’s own hurtful, inconsiderate, or unnecessary words and actions can go a long way towards healing the rift. Using each argument as an opportunity for self-reflection and change for future interactions is one sure way to strengthen the marriage.

Forgive Often

It is natural to try to avoid conflict at all costs. But sometimes, no matter what you do, an argument finds its way into your home. How a couple deals with conflict (and its aftermath) can literally make or break a marriage. We have already mentioned the importance of admitting and apologizing for one’s own mistakes. Equally important is forgiving the other person. Without forgiveness, there can be no true reconciliation. Forgiveness is what allows each person to let negative feelings go and stop bringing up the past. Developing a habit of forgiving one another will help you move forward with the knowledge that you can deal with anything and everything the future may bring.

Be Sensitive And Offer Grace

We are more likely to get a positive response from our partner if we are sensitive to their needs and offer grace when they make mistakes. Focus on their good qualities rather than dwelling on their shortcomings. Take time to celebrate their successes and appreciate their efforts.

Diligently Pray Together

Practice praying with your spouse regularly. Take a minute to thank God for your partner, your marriage and everything in between. Stand united and ask for help with your problems. Listen for that still small voice of the Spirit to guide you as a couple. Cultivating a habit of spending time together in prayer will strengthen your spiritual and emotional connection to God and each other. It can become the foundation of a solid and resilient marriage.

Respect In Public, As Well As In Private

When you are out in public with your spouse, resist the urge to be negative. You never know who is listening and what they are thinking. If by any chance your spouse did something you don’t like, you don’t need to correct them in public. If done in public, your spouse’s feelings of humiliation will likely drown out anything you have to say.

If you have an agreement to have dinner together but you run late, take time to inform your spouse.

In private or at home, speak gently to your spouse. Share nice things about them in front of the kids and listen to their thoughts when they share them with you.

These things all show respect. They may seem like small things, but they really do matter. Being considerate in ways both large and small communicates beyond words. It affirms your spouse’s value as a person of equal standing with yourself, worthy of your affection and esteem.

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